Tomorrow commemorates 30 days. Of what, you ask! Let me start at the beginning. Around June of 2015 I noticed a lump in my left ear and figured nothing of it. After all, what is a lump after having a double lung transplant, multiple additional surgeries, near death experiences and so on, so on and so on. I always seem to have health related things showing up so what is a lump? Around October I went to see an ENT doc b/c it was getting worse and after a few attempts at fixing it with lotions and medications she did a biopsy of it. Now keep in mind I am an avid sunscreen wearer and I always include my ears. Post transplant people are way more prone to skin cancer than the normal Joe. The biopsy results were Squamos Cell and I was immediately referred to the MUSC Head and Neck department (I bet you did not even know they had that). Dr. Neskey would become my frenemy as he discussed the seriousness of it and treatment of it. Within a week or two I was in the OR where they "scraped" the inside of my ear pretty darn down to nothing and then took a 6 inch section of my upper leg as a skin graft. Honest to God this was some of the worst pain I ever felt - that skin graft was brutal and being immune-suppressed, due to the transplant, it took extra long to heal. Eventually I was back up walking and working (almost full time) and trying to get my ugly ear to heal. What's worse - an ugly ear or no ear? Fast forward a couple months and I felt like that ear was not only not healing but getting worse. I was 100% sure it was just extra, extra slow to heal but I figured better be safe than sorry so back I went to see my frenemy ( I really liked him but got tired of hearing the bad news). After one of those concerning looks (hopefully you have no idea what I mean) he said, "That's concerning - I'm going to do a biopsy." Again, ear biopsies are not all that fun but I survived and awaited the results. Results = Squamos Cell again. This disturbing news came in the form of a phone call and Dr. Neskey saying this is way more aggressive and we have to be more aggressive in the treatment. A week later I was in the OR for a 12 hour surgery. Because my middle name is "Murphy's Law" I was not waking up properly and ended up staying intubated and in the ICU for 5 days. When I finally decided to wake up I literally had no idea where I was or why I was there. Let me tell you it's very strange to wake up 5 days later and have no clue what is going on. Also, let me add that whatever I was given provided me some serious hallucinations. Why would anyone want to do that intentionally? After another day in the ICU I was moved to a regular room - I'll spare you the details on having all my tubes and lines pulled out. Yikes! Remember my middle name? Murphy struck again in that I had no voice or ability to swallow properly so down went the NG tube (a not so lovely tube going through my nose to my stomach where they fed me and put my medications down). I also could not talk due to vocal cord paralysis, probably from the 5 days of a tube down my throat. Three more days and I was able to swallow a little better which allowed me to go home to start another long recovery and that brings me to the title of the - Ringin' the Bell.
Tomorrow I complete my 30 day regimen of Radiation on my ear and facial area. I'm ready for tomorrow to be here. Every day for the past 6 weeks (M-F) I drive to MUSC and lay on a table with a Jason/Halloween type mask secured to a table so I am immobile while radiation waves infiltrate my cancer area, AKA my face. The first few treatments were tough because I am claustrophobic and having my head tied to a table really caused me anxiety. But, I got used to it (as used to radiation as one can) and will finish it out tomorrow. I'm told at the end of my treatment I get to ring a bell on my way out as a sign of completion and success. The bell must be symbolic of a new start, hopefully a cancer-free new start. That 12 hour surgery turned out to be quite the journey, one that was very unexpected and unwelcome. I tend to have a lot of those but thank God I'm stubborn. One of my docs once said my stubbornness was a blessed curse. It drives him crazy but keeps me alive. I'll take stubbornness all day long as long as it keeps me around my family and friends.
I want to extend a huge thank you to Dr. Neskey, TK, Ben and Ashley, and Dr. Sharma for being so great to work with, your professionalism, honesty, work ethic, knowledge to treat this, and aggressiveness to make sure there is the best opportunity for healing and this does not return. As grateful as I am to this group of people words cannot describe how grateful I am to my wife. She has watched, sat, slept, worked, eaten, etc by my side for so many surgeries and hospitalizations I lost count. I can say with 100% certainty I would not here today were it not for her and her continued commitment to me. Somewhere in my unconscious mind I know when I finally wake up from whatever sedation I'm under she'll be there next to me and for that I am eternally grateful.
Tomorrow, I move forward again with hesitant hope that I remain cancer free and await the side effects of radiation to go away (fatigue, very red face, loss of facial hair (miss my beard) and loss of taste) and try and get used to my new life of only having one ear and loss of hearing since they took my entire ear canal out.
Tomorrow - I ring that bell (in more ways than one)
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| This is an exact replica of the mask I wore. |
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| The plaque says, "Ring, Bell, Ring/Loud and Clear/My treatment is over/And I'm outta here | | | | | |
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